And then.. an ANGEL called

It's my birthday today. I'm 27. That's old for some, young for others. I had some birthday blues this morning, thinking about that number. I've just got back from India having completed my yoga teacher training. I'm now back in London, staying in a friend's spare room and finding it pretty tricky to adapt back to Western life, where money seems to be at the core of everything (and I'm a little unemployed). So I've been looking at this number of 27,trying to work out what it means for me.

London, I love it. I really do. But right now everything feels so hard and rigid. Where are the toothy Indian smiles and the cows in the middle of the roads? Where is my moped that I can float about on and where are the coconut stands with an elephant to chat to? And where

are all my yoginis, whose hearts I met every morning as the sun opened the day? I've been in India making my dreams come true. Then I bounced back to London in bliss and motivated, thinking how lucky I am to be so young and so on track. But then London punched me with doom straight in my solar plex chakra and flooded me with doubt. And this morning on my birthday, I sit here thinking: 'I'm 27, I should be an Account Director at at some hot shot ad agency by now'.

And then... an ANGEL called. From Australia she radiated light around the globe straight

into my small spirit and made me shine. She rapped me a little birthday rap and my heart sang with absolute love and adoration. (Isn't it funny how your people know just when to call?!)

I'd spent the morning reiki'ing and yoga'ing but... meh. Nothing quite lifted me like the energy in her voice. Her YES lifted my NO to a good honest MAYBE and the rest, was up to me.

So now I'm about to jet out and have birthday hugs with my other people. And when this birthday is all polished off and put in the cupboard with the other trophies of birthday's past, I'm going to get back on this blog and share all my stories from a trip that outbeat perfect.

And then I'll be thinking: " Damn, check me out. 27 and FLYING!'

The Guest House

Jody Bone is one of my yoga teachers here at Brahmani. She read this poem in a class last week.

I really like it.

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

~ Rumi

Living in the Key of YES

So I’ve been in India for just under 2 weeks now.

Not going to lie, I was freaking anxious when leaving. I kept on waking up on the plane and having a mini freak out when registering that I was in fact on a plane, going to India, to train to be a yoga teacher. How the hell had this happened?!?! EEK!

I had all these negative thoughts dart about my head which I knew were all stupidly irrational, but I just couldn’t shake them and it was annoying. (This was probably the result of that little big leaving party… woops!). In order to tune out of myself, I started chatting to this guy Stephen whilst waiting for my connecting flight at Mumbai airport. Now it turned out that Stephen used to make music with Martin Cole from Wieden’s (my old job). He was super chatty and lovely and kitted me up with so much music and DJ software. We chatted ‘advertising’ and decided amongst us that I should definitely be a yoga teacher which made me feel loads better. (Thanks, Stephen)

On a bit of a chat role, I looked about for some other folk to vibe off. At the back of the transit bus, I saw a kind looking couple I clocked from the London flight. I popped my sleepy self next to them and said a cheery “hiya”. We shared our story of where we’re all off to and it turned out, the EXACT same place! This is how I met Stuart, the lovely gentleman who is now teaching me Anatomy at yoga school.

Synchronicity strikes! Time to relax…

Two weeks on I’m sat in my little yellow room with my own little garden writing this blog post. I’ve just returned from a social with my new yogini friends at a place called Bean Me Up (it’s a veggie restaurant for those that get confused). There’s about 16 of us yogalites; all different people united because of that special place that yoga takes us to. We all get it, and it’s simple scrumptious. It feels so good to be dedicating my days to learning about something I really believe in and with people who I can chat ‘hippy’ shizzle with. I don’t know where it’ll take me, but that doesn’t really matter to me right now.

So just to rub it in, this is my average day:

I start with a two hour Vinyassa Flow yoga class that’s been choreographed so strategically it fools my body into thinking that those painful tricky little numbers are merely acts of kindness. I then listen to the wonderfully wise Julie Martin wow me with the biomechanics of yoga and I end my day floating around Anjuna after a 1.5 hour meditation session (well often floating but also quite often tormented at this stage, but I’m learning!)

I seriously feel as though I’m living in a video game. I’ve failed my driving license four times yet I’m whizzing around on my moped where cows chill out on street corners as if they’re London teenagers. On the way back from yoga, I’ll pull up to Anish’s coconut stand for a daily dose of electrolytes and sometimes I’ll have a chat with an elephant whose standing right beside me.

I’m very much living in the Key of YES. I’ve pledged to spread this essence to those who don’t have opportunity to quit their jobs and jet of to another country, live off the exchange rate and write blogs about how stoked they are about it. I know I’m very fortunate to be where I am and I think it’s important to let gratitude spill out from my actions.

The past two days on the way to yoga, I’ve driven past a group of about 20 workers gravelling the road. Yep, they’d walk in single file for about 20ms with buckets of stones on their heads. They’d then throw these on the road and walk back to get more stones. Then a big heavy rolling machine would come along and compress the stones into the ground and ta daaaa, we have a Goan road. I’d smile to the workers as I’d drive past but never got any Indian toothy grins back. These guys had it tough.

So I got them all some cold drink.

le

But what's interesting is that the workers didn't even seem to get that something nice was being done for them. Before I went over I got a bit of a complex that they would think 'who the hell is this white girl and what's she doing bringing us drinks?'. Well, let's be honest, they did think that but if I as a loony grinning tourist can show a group of road workers that I at least SEE them, give them a drink and a little drama to their lunch break then great! I know I've not changed their life, but I'd like to think I changed a little moment.

Fx

p.s. How many times have I used the word 'little'?! Geez!

Waterfall

Sometimes everything in life slots into place so very nicely. That being said, getting to that place can be o so very tricky. At the start of this year, I had an amazing boyfriend, a lovely little flat and what I thought to be a stable job. Six months on, life did a complete 180. I found myself single, jobless, sleeping on a sofa bed and more surprisingly, brunette. It's been a rapid of a ride, with a big waterfall thrown in the middle but thankfully...

I can now sink back into a bubble bath of retrospect and feel grateful for all the turbulence.

I'm about to embark on an adventure which has been laden with so much synchronicty that even my step mum commented (with not even a smidge of a prompt), that it must be 'written in the stars'.

Yoga has been a big part of my life since university. Amongst all the potential career paths/ creative projects/ blog ideas/ book ideas/ travel trip ideas my head musters up, it's been a consistent thread. And I'm off to India to pursue it. My yoga teacher training in Vinyassa Flow begins on October 31st at the Brahmani Yoga Centre in Angura, Goa. Yes, Yes, Yes!

I found out about the last minute opening of the course just over a week ago and had acceptance a week ago today. I weighed up all the rationalities like timing and money – they even told me to go! I was planing to go to India in December and was going to use the next few months to save up. However, the off season timings of this course mean that everything works out about £1500 cheaper. No brainer really. And the timings? Well `my freelance job naturally came to a close and gave me the passport to jump on the plane. Perfect.

That being said, I'm nervous of leaving life as I know it all on my own. But the things that make you nervous are quite often the things that you should be doing. They're the things that you really care about. And at times like this, you've got to feel the nerves, turn them into success and say YES.

London life has been incredible. My frends blow my mind with their amazingness. So do the East London warehouse parties with bass lines that I just want to snog. Cycling around London with music in my ears watching people go about life always makes me feel like I'm in a film set with the soundtrack playing in my ears. The kind of film that makes you snuggle up to the person next to you and think 'yea, it's a pretty good world we live in isn't it?'. I'll miss that.

But with departures, come backs always loom. And on a day like today, with people celebrating ticket success for their come back gig, this is the perfect song.

YES.

So,I don't really know what to expect from next Friday onwards. However, I do know what to expect next Wednesday night; a lot of fun and goodbye hugs at The Old Queen's Head, Angel. Please join for a little farewell. From 7pm.

Love Fx

"Everybody Loves"... a little stickman game

Have a go on this Draw a Stickman game and say YES.

Clapping like a SEAL whilst watching loved up PENGUINS. YES.

My lovely, blonde smiley Kiwi (who moved to Canada) friend Zoe Gapper aka Zapper, just posted this on my Facebook wall. I smiled for 3.16 mins; except for when the penguin got pushed in the sea as I wasn't sure if he was going to be ok. But he was. I then clapped and bounced on my sofa like a seal pup as I continued to watch the two loved up penguins resume their happy ever after whilst Avalanche sang LOVE, LOVE, LOVE in my ears.

YES.

Celebrations with a Homeless Life Coach

Yesterday, for whatever reason, I felt a little bit blue.

I was in queue for a cashpoint on Shoreditch High Street (the one by Tescos) before my yoga class, when I heard this little voice from below.

"Cheer up, girl!"

It was a homeless man.

"What's up?" he asked.

I felt a little embarrassed. (Seriously, what did I have to be down about?!)

"You need to be more positive," he says.

"I normally am pretty positive," I tell him back.

"Well, perhaps you're too positive, and when you feel just ok, you get disappointed."

"Yea, maybe..."

I went into Tescos and thought about what he said. Whether it made sense or not (and I think it did!), that homeless man cheered me up.

So I bought him some Celebrations and we had a little celebrate for making me feel better. Yay!

His name is Michael.

If you see him, give him a smile :)